(First published in AUGI World Magazine – June 2016)
Face it, everyone likes to receive praise. But do we like to give it? Most people do not, or at least it seems like they do not like giving compliments, since they seldom give them. Demanding bosses to seldom give out compliments. They demand superior work that constantly improves as if the demand itself will cause the improvement. It’s like driving a car faster and faster as if it could always accelerate more just by pressing harder on the gas pedal.
Why we do not praise others
We are drawn to the negative side of observations. Remember the “what is wrong or missing in this picture” games you might have played when you were a kid. We are often trained to see what it below par or missing. We are also think that to improve, we have to define what is lacking. These mindsets lead to spotting flaws in people or their work. They are so easy to see some times. Improvements and effectiveness are harder to spot. You have to work at noticing them. We will notice bad service and delays in delivery of our food at a restaurant, but do we compliment good service? (with a big tip).
Some do not give compliments or praise to staff and coworkers because the think it might detract from their authority or leadership. They might think that complimenting coworkers might make them think they can rest on that input and stop moving forward. They may see everything as a competition (and some environments are like that). If others are praised, it detracts from them. It is exactly the opposite on all fronts.
Sometimes it may be a simple as thinking that they already know that we appreciate them. We have said it before so why say more. Don’t want to overdo it, do we? Or maybe we just do not know how to give a compliment, or how to start a conversation like that.
Why we should praise others more often
Encouragement motivates people to actually work harder. Someone noticing and addressing superior work and efforts energizes them. They activate even more reserves to move even faster, make more quality choices and deliver earlier.
It lets others know that they are on their game. It reinforces great behavior. It defines exact achievements and why they are important. It locks in the message that you are trying to deliver to your team and others that quality matters, deadlines are to be met and that planning aids production.
Compliments convey respect. When you praise others, they get the signal that you are paying attention, are not so self-centered, that you appreciate their devotion and respect them as a person. It builds trust via reinforcing shared goals, characteristics and perspectives.
More in the next post…
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