Promises, Promises

Promises are a pledge to satisfy the concerns or needs of others. We make them every day. We make them when we don’t realize that we are making them. We sometimes break them without thinking of the consequences or the impact on the other party.

The conversations that we have contain offers, counteroffers, commitments, refusals, refinements, reflections, clarifications and agreements. All of these are steps toward a promise. Promises are the executables that energize our work.

If you have read my writings or heard me speak, you may have heard me state one of the maxims that I try to live by… “Under Promise and Over Deliver”. This reflects my perspective of how to really have people believe what you say. By guarding just how much you “promise” to do and then delivering more or sooner than you stated, it ensures that people will be impressed with your promises.

What makes a good promise? Here are few concepts…

Good promises are made in public, where others can hear them. This locks in the promise maker to live up to what they have said. They cannot conveniently reinterpret the promise of change some clause to suit themselves. Most people strive to keep public promises. Try to keep them in the public arena. This means that you should have a witness to the promises that others make to you. I have often called someone over to witness what someone else has promised me. Or I actually call someone over to witness what I promise to others to show how serious I am about keeping the promise.

Good promises are not just one sided requests. Promises are agreements between two parties. They are active in that they involve both parties. One offers and the other accepts. A request that is tossed from one side to the other without a responsive agreement to deliver is not a promise. Don’t let yourself get caught thinking that just because you asked someone to do something, that they “promised” to do it.

Good promises are voluntary. If you are compelling someone to do something, that is just giving orders. There may be no agreement on delivery, just action in a given direction. When someone agrees with a statement you make, it may mean that they understood your words, not that they agreed to do anything. Make sure that when you solicit a promise the other party has an option other than just saying yes. If they are using their free will to say yes and actually have an option to not agree, then their promise is worth something. They cannot come back saying that they had no option.

Good promises are well defined. They are not a nebulous statement like “sure, I can try to get that done”. They include what they will do, for whom and by some set date/time. This does not mean that things cannot be renegotiated. There may be a time when something comes up that prevents delivery. At the point where the promise giver realizes that they may be unable to deliver, they should come back to the table and renegotiate the promised delivery. A failure to deliver, followed by a conversation on the unrealistic expectations of delivery, does not make the promise go away. This is still a failure to deliver on a promise. Returning to the bargaining table prior to the deadline is not.

Good promises are based on mutually understood objectives. Both parties understand the need for the promise and the delivery. If one party does not fully understand the needs and constraints of the other, then the promise may be derailed. When you are stretching for a promise, make sure that the other party knows what you want and WHY you want it.

Promises are the building block of a strong delivery system that makes your environment “click”. Pay attention to what you are promising and the makeup of your promises.

Remember the immortal words of the band Naked Eyes for the 1983 song…

You made me promises, promises
Knowing I’d believe
Promises, promises
You knew you’d never keep – why did I believe?