Table of contents for Negotiating

1. Negotiation Skills – Asking for More
2. Negotiating Skills – No, the First Step to Yes
3. Negotiating Skills – Flinching
4. Negotiating Skills – Talk to the Right Person
5. Negotiating Skills – Little by Little

No – this is not the name of a law firm. It is a method of negotiating that I constantly put into practice.

You may have been successful in your efforts and have gotten a compromise or completed a negotiation in one meeting. I have found that it often takes multiple meetings, conversations, emails, phone calls and more. I have to talk to multiple people before I can get a final answer or approval. When this happens, I tend to do it little by little. Small success, strung together to equal one large agreement.

It may be a series of conversations with the same person. Each time we talk I make a little progress. I go for small concessions and agreements that move toward the ultimate goal. By doing this it allows others to slowly get their arms around the concepts and ideas.

Trying to seal the deal in one marathon bargaining session seldom works. It is the slow methodical progression toward a deal that works best in most business situations. People do not like to be surprised and then asked for agreement. Usually they like to think about things. So you need to allow them to do that.

It may mean that you have to cover old ground again or remind them that they already agreed to do such and such. Sometimes they may take something off the table that you thought you had agreement on. This is all part of the process of negotiations. It is a give and take. You are looking for both parties to come away feeling good about the outcome.

Let other people get on board with you – one step at a time.

Table of contents for Negotiating

1. Negotiation Skills – Asking for More
2. Negotiating Skills – No, the First Step to Yes
3. Negotiating Skills – Flinching
4. Negotiating Skills – Talk to the Right Person
5. Negotiating Skills – Little by Little

When you decide that something needs to be negotiated, then you need to make sure that you are actually talking to the right person. The one that can make the final call.

When you talk to the right person, then a decision can be reached and progress can be made. There have been times when I thought I was talking to the right person just to find out later that I needed someone else’s approval. This was frustrating because I had to start the whole process over again with the new person.

When you start negotiating an outcome, you need to first ask if you are talking to the right people. It should not be offending to others if you ask correctly. Try this… “Is there anyone else that should be involved in this conversation?”.

There is no guarantee that the other person will actually let you know of everyone that should be involved. There is a strong possibility that the person may not know, or that they think they are the bottom line. So you cannot cut off the conversation, you just need to continue and ask the same question again later.

Try this… “So if we agree with this decision, I can move ahead under your authority?” This places a large amount to stress on someone who is not sure they are the bottom line, or that is not letting you know they are not. Continue with “If you are sure that your authority covers this area, then I can move forward as soon as we are done”.

There will probably be some hedging of authority in the skittish, but confidence from the real decision making person. When the skittishness shows up, ask again if there is “possibly” someone else that you “may” need to check with.

Table of contents for Negotiating

1. Negotiation Skills – Asking for More
2. Negotiating Skills – No, the First Step to Yes
3. Negotiating Skills – Flinching
4. Negotiating Skills – Talk to the Right Person
5. Negotiating Skills – Little by Little

Flinching – which includes an audible or visual reaction to an offer.

This tip may work in the initial phases of negotiating. It is something that you want to use, but not over use. When used well, it can make some people back away from their initial stance.

It may be a slight tilt of the head to one side and a puzzled look as if you are trying hard to figure out how they could have come up with the proposal. It may be a low, calm, brief chuckle. It may be a boisterous “What?”. But it will be visual or audible so that the other person hears it or sees it.

It is a subtle way of saying “no way”. It is a reaction to the offer that displays your non-acceptance of the offer.

What does this mean to the CAD Manager?

It means that you may use very slight indications of rejection of peoples proposals to setting the standard aside. You may act “taken aback” by someones attempt to step around your authority. You may grumble a little before you reaffirm your stance on quality and compliance with company guidelines. You may blend it with an exaggerated, humorous tone to the words or actions to take the edge off.

By using some visual aids, you may be able to gain a little edge in the constant negotiations you have to do at work.

Table of contents for Negotiating

1. Negotiation Skills – Asking for More
2. Negotiating Skills – No, the First Step to Yes
3. Negotiating Skills – Flinching
4. Negotiating Skills – Talk to the Right Person
5. Negotiating Skills – Little by Little

Many times I have tried to get something approved just to hear a negative answer. This use to depress me because I thought it was the end of my efforts. Shut down again…

But I soon learned that “No” may just be an opening negotiating stance. Most times when people say “no” it is just an initial reaction to something they think will fail, or that it is just “change” that they don’t want to adapt too. “No” means that they are “initially” against whatever you are proposing, but maybe not the final answer. Getting around the “No” is the next step.

I use to work under someone that said “No” to just about everything that I brought up. He was not my direct Manager so thankfully I did not have to go to him with all of my requests. But when he was the bottom line approver on some issues, I had to deal with him. I learned that his initial “no” was not always the final answer. I learned that I could keep negotiating toward an approval.

Here are some practical tips for getting around the initial “no”:

1. Ask a few clarifying questions and get back to the issue later. Don’t be tempted to back away, stop talking or get mad.

2. Agree with the areas that they may be correct on, but don’t concede the fight. This is a process that includes stepping aside so that you can come at the problem from a different angle.

3. Regroup and rethink. Do you really need what was refused? If so – take up the topic again at another time. Believe me, wearing someone down does work. Don’t be annoying, just persistent.

4. Run through the consequences of their “no”. Make sure they understand the outcome of not approving your request. Don’t over-inflate the impact, just the facts.

5. Strive toward a compromised outcome where both parties can come out with something. If the other person thinks they are doing all of the giving, they will be more inclined to stick with the “no”.

Table of contents for Negotiating

1. Negotiation Skills – Asking for More
2. Negotiating Skills – No, the First Step to Yes
3. Negotiating Skills – Flinching
4. Negotiating Skills – Talk to the Right Person
5. Negotiating Skills – Little by Little

A long time ago, I took a course on negotiating to improve my skills. It was an audio course that covered a lot of topics related to negotiating just about anything. I have used these skills over the years in many ways. Buying cars, negotiating on my house, even buying things at local yard sales and flea markets (swap meets).

I have also used these skills in my job. Negotiating is crucial to getting things done. It is a needed skill for everyone and especially for someone who plans and moves projects along. I will be covering some of these topics in the next few blog posts.